i was MADE for this

Well, I lived. I didn’t cry. I only got mildly frustrated. I got my eyebrows done…with absolutely no redness. I’m going to ask Bev to give Carolyn a raise.

My aunt is in town from MA, so we’re spending the night in Philadelphia Woohoo!

I’ll write more tomorrow…

Until then….have a fabulous night!

Yesterday was a tough day. Today, I’m going in on the offense. I have plans, spreadsheets and goals for today.

I don’t work well in chaos, but I think that when you are helping someone begin something new, you have to understand and experience their chaos to understand what will make them work in an ordered chaos.

Here’s hoping

Today I re-entered what some consider to be “the real world.” I am now working in a salon. As a receptionist/marketing person/coffee & food grabber/anything else that needs to be doner. Yeah. Today I accomplished…well…nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Though I did get my hair colored and cut.

Tomorrow I have to get the nuts and bolts of the place going…figure out the register (how to program it, etc.) I have to get some sort of filing system in place. I have to make sure that I eat lunch so that I don’t wind up flat after a few hours.

I have to dig deep to get this done. I am working for a friend…a good friend…so I want to do the best job that I can possibly do. And I want to leave this situation still friends. So…to accomplish both goals, I’ll certainly need God’s grace and wisdom.

And I have to remember…right now, I’m making tents and building the Kingdom. How, I don’t know. But I know I am. This is the door that God has allowed to be opened right now. So…that must mean that this is something that He wants me to do. Character building. Good stuff. Right?

OK. I promised myself that I wouldn’t post another blog tonight, but…I just finished my annual viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life, and well…yeah.

This year I picked up a lot of things that I never saw before. For instance, George Bailey is a rather sarcastic fellow. I don’t recall him ever saying, “Yeah, you look like the angel I’d get,” when Clarence announces that he is George’s guardian angel. I chuckled out loud.

This year in particular I really understood George’s frustration about wanting to travel. I love my life. I love where I am right now. But…there is a small part of me…ok, a huge part of me that wants to be anywhere but NJ. Well, anywhere but Worcester, MA. Just being honest.

And…there is always a part of me that wonders if I have done anything of real significance with my life. I do not require the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future to show me the impact I’ve had on lives. I don’t need Clarence to remove all evidence of my existence to see what I’ve done. Is it human nature? Or is it some psychosis in me? Or is it both?

So, thankfully I won’t be watching the movie until next year. Who knows what the It’s a Wonderful Life post of 2007 will look like? Well, I know Someone who does, but He’s not divulging any of those secrets to me Probably a good thing. Otherwise I have a suspicion I’d be scared to death.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of my church. I’ve heard so many reports of things that our people are buying for the families in Voorhees. I’ve become overwhelmed, almost to the point of tears just listening to people talk, excited about their purchases. I have no idea how I’m going to not cry tomorrow when I actually see the items. *mental note to self: no make-up tomorrow, or at least waterproof mascara*

I’ve baked myself senseless today. I can go no further. Tomorrow…is another day. In the worst case scenario, we’re not going to the township until the afternoon, so I should be able to bang out a few dozen cookies on Monday morning after the kids go to school. I want to make up a few trays of homemade cookies for our contacts…and for the VTPD. They had to hunt down a carjacker this week. God bless the men in blue. I couldn’t do their job.

That’s about the totality of my mental capacity for the evening. Now I have to prepare for It’s a Wonderful Life. And remember. Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets it wings

There are so many things that I love about God. On some days, those are the same characteristics that I hate about Him. Did I just say that? Out loud? (Not really…I wrote it.)

For the last two mornings I woke up and watched Joyce Meyer. She has been teaching on managing your emotions…something that I certainly need more than a little help doing. So, I’ve watched, I’ve absorbed, I’ve amened. I’ve read the scripture that she gave, and went further. I’ve done all the right things.

Today I listened to a podcast from lifechurch.tv in Oklahoma City. They are currently in the middle of a series about the miracles that Jesus performed. I was tuned into the one about the calming of the storm.

Today something happened that shook me to the core. And I got scared. And I got angry. And I cried.

And I remembered what it is what I’ve been learning. I remembered that God has given me these emotions, but that it is my job to keep them in order. I remembered that when the disciples were on the boat, thinking that the storm was going to sink the boat, that Jesus got up and told the waves to be still. I remembered that the JOY of the Lord is my strength.

As I write this, the salt stains from my bitter tears still remain on my glasses. But…the fear, the discouragement, the anger, the disappointment has been replaced by joy, peace and faith.

I’ve tried do hard not to ask, “Why? Why me?” Instead, I’ve told God that I trust Him. Point blank period. So…there you have it.

Be careful of what you learn. Because you are bound to have to put it into practice.

I’ve not arrived at a destination. But I am on the right path.

All summer long, my sister, my parents and I lament that we cannot grow grass. Our front lawn looks like a war zone…a field of dirt with a few spots of grass and lots of maple tree roots.

Well, I’m glad that we don’t have grass. Grass is not something to fight for, to desire, to covet. In short, grass is for the birds. Today we raked our leaves. Took little time because of the lack of grass. Then we did the neighbors’ leaves (mostly because we don’t want them tracked into our house.) They have a thick lawn. It took twice as long.

Given the evidence, grass is not good.

I’m making a commitment to myself right now. I am not going to watch The View again. Rosie O’Donnell, Barbara Walters and Joy positively made my skin crawl and my blood boil today. So, there you have it.

I had a great coffee time today with an old friend. I think that God has really begun something interesting…just thinking of it is making me smile.

She made the comment that is the title of this blog to someone who invited her to a women’s retreat at her church. I laughed OUT LOUD when she said that to me and about the person to whom she said it. I wonder if the pastor to whom that comment was directed laughed as heartily as I. Probably NOT.

I listened to a sermon today, and a point in that sermon really mad eme think. The pastor said, “Belief without repentance is not faith. It’s fraud.” Wow…that’s a pretty heavy word, and some of the completest Truth that I’ve heard in a while. That’ll knock your socks off, eh?

HAPPY ELECTION DAY!!!!!

Today is seriously one of my favorite days as an American. I love having the privelege to vote. I was talking to a friend who works at Fox in Philly. She told me that she is not voting because she feels uninformed about the candidates. I told her that I find that ironic.

I feel the weight of your displeasure, but I do not know what has brought us to this point…again. I’m trying to understand the workings of you brain, of you feelings, of your emotions, but how am I supposed to grasp something that you will not communicate? I want to live in peace, not in enmity. I want to live life to the fullest. I want to walk the walk that I am talking. Is this what displeases you?

This is my declaration. I am going to walk forward, forgetting what is behind. I am striving toward the goal, which is to be more like Jesus. I’m not looking for your approval. I’m not looking for your admiration. I’m not looking for your commendation. The approval, admiration, commendation for which I seek comes from above, not from this earth. So, I’m sorry if I’m not meeting your unspoken expectation. Heck, I’m sorry if I’m not meeting your spoken expectation.

Hebrews 12:22-23 says, “You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven.” Though my family may treat me as the red-headed step child, the black sheep, the one of whom they are ashamed, my Father in heaven reminds me that He loves me, that He has chosen me, that I am His first and foremost. On this will I stand. Forever and ever.