i was MADE for this

From Friday to Sunday, I was in Syracuse visiting my family on my father’s side.  I had an amazing time.  I have to admit, though…that many colors were used to paint this visit.  Let me explain.

Not too long ago, I made a comment on my buddy Chill Pastor’s blog.  I wrote about how the dark time in our lives help to make the portrait of our life have more depth.  That is how I feel about my trip to Syracuse this weekend.

Many bright colors were painted.  It was so refreshing to be there, so see my family.  My aunt and uncle really inspired me, gave me something for which to strive.  I’ve never seen my Aunt Linda so happy.  In Spanish the word linda means pretty…and her name fits her.  She is radiant.  I remember some of the darker times that she experienced.  Seeing her now puts everything into perspective.  They are so welcoming.  We scheduled a weekend in October for me to go back to visit.  We’re going to visit the wineries of upstate NY.  And I love me some wine

The dark colors of my visit were painted when I went to my Oma’s house for the last time.  I have so many memories of that house…visiting my cousin as a baby upstairs; Thanksgiving dinners in the dining room; taking a bath in the clawfoot tub, pretending that it was a water slide; sliding down the steep back stairs on my butt because I was afraid to walk down; walking my slinky down those stairs.  I could go on and on.  I held it together seeing the house mostly empty.  I completely lost it when I walked out back and saw the cherry tree.  I remember when my Opa planted that tree…he was so proud of the sour cherries it produced.  I cried when I saw that it was dead.  I tried to regain my composure, so I walked back out front.  And I saw the pine tree..the one that Opa planted so many Christmases ago.

I can’t spend my life crying over what was. 

For now, I look forward to the brilliant autumnal colors.  It is time to make new memories.

I went to see my nephew yesterday in the hospital.  He’s in the DuPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington, DE.  He’s recovering from his surgery well.  Last night he ate for the first time since the surgery.  Today they took out his catheter, and he is eating everything he can.  He specially requested “meat,” so meat it shall be.

While they were putting him under, they had to pull one of his front teeth because it was wiggly.  The doctors brought the tooth out to my sister, in a jar, with $2 because the tooth fairy had visited.  I think that is the cutest thing ever.  Seriously.  My nephew, though, being the skeptic that he is, insisted that the doctors actually gave him the $2.  Personally, I think that he was extorting more money from her, but she aquiesced and gave him more money.  I mean the tooth fairy visited and gave him more money.

Anyway–the little guy is coming home tomorrow.  Thank God.  It’s too quiet around here!

If you are reading this, I covet your prayers.  Or a kind thought.  Or your understanding.

My family is going through a bit of a transition right now.  My family in Syracuse.  My Oma (my father’s mother) is moving in with my aunt and uncle.  It’s a rather natural transition…but for some reason, I’m not emotionally handling it as well as I thought I would.  I know it’s for the best…my Oma shouldn’t live in a big house by herself.  She’s almost 81.  But for some reason, it’s hitting hard.  I’m going to visit her next week while I’m on vacation.  But still.

Also…next Friday, my youngest nephew is having surgery on one of his kidneys.  He has a valve in his kidney that doesn’t shut all the way, so urine goes back into his kidney instead of fully evacuating.  The surgery he’s having is 98% effective, but for a few weeks, our house is going to be in a bit of turmoil.  He’ll be in the hospital for 2-3 days, which means we’ll have 2 kids at home, a bit unsettled with their kid brother in the hospital and with their parents in Wilmington, DE with their brother.

So that is just the tip of the iceberg right now.  I wanted to give a bit of an update on life.

Well, my mom has taken to reading my blog…and commenting…and regularly making me cry.  Today she totally pimped me out…haha

Sometimes it is easy to forget how blessed I am because I am too close to my situation.  I notice the insanity more than I notice the encouragement, the support, the laughs, the endless cups of coffee.

So, mom, you’re a rockstar.  A little left of center.  Kinda crazy.  But a rockstar. 

I love you

I learned something recently…something great.  I can’t tell you what it is just yet…but it is pretty big   I’m pretty excited.  OK…I’m really excited.  It does not involve me moving to Boston…but I should be able to get up there to visit.  As soon as it’s official, I’ll blab.  Don’t worry!

I feel like such a wuss.  Today was the graduation of my training class…and I left work early today.  I was coughing and sneezing and making such a rucus that I left.  I didn’t think it was fair to the people who paid to be at the training class to be distracted (or worse, infected) by me.  From what I hear, everyone enjoyed the class.  I think that this group of people learned a lot.  I fully expect that at least 80% of our participants will be placing dental implants on a regular basis. 

I am looking to move into my own little castle in early 2008.  I don’t know where I want to live.  I know that I want to live by myself…though my recent offer to move into a hippy commune was tempting…lol.  I don’t know if I want city life or suburban life.  I should probably move toward the location of my new office…but if I do that, then I will most likely spend too much time at the office being the crazy workaholic that I am..that I am becoming.  I have to move soon enough so that I can register to vote in my new locale.

Thanksgiving is coming toward us like a freight train.  I love the idea of Thanksgiving.  I love that, as a country, we take a day out of our busy schedule to give thanks.  What I loathe about Thanksgiving is that I have to spend the day with my family.  It always creates a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that I am going to have to endure the looks, the comments, the biting remarks.  I have trouble loving my family graciously.  My immediate family, we have our quirks, our weird dynamics, but we know when to fight and when to turtle.  My extended family…that is more difficult.  I know that I am not alone in this.  If God would grant me one wish about my family, it would be that my family be a refuge for not only me but for all of my family, rather than a snare that entangles me.

Well, enough cold influenced rambling.  Time for Nyquil and sleep.  Zzzzzzzz.

So tonight I went to visit the little guy in the hospital.  He looked happy to see me, but being the dude he is, he had to play it off like he didn’t care.  I love that kid.

I think, for me, it was more difficult to leave my sister in the hospital than Nick.  I’m the older sister.  I’ve always been the one who takes care of everyone.  I can’t stand to see her looking worried, trying to be nonchalant.  I fed her; I brought her clean clothes and makeup; I brought her food and drinks for tomorrow. 

Then, when I left the hospital, there was a hispanic couple, standing in the driveway.  They looked so distressed.  I heard them speaking Spanish.  I saw them, and when I got into my car, I started to cry.  I can imagine myself, in a foreign country, living my dream, with my kid in a foreign hospital.  I thought of not being able to communicate fully with the medical staff.  I imagined not understanding exactly what was occuring.  And, even as I type this, I want to cry.

I’m sitting here watching LA Ink.  I am anxiously anticipating seeing one of the guys whose blog I read daily, Carlos Whittaker get his tattoo.  Maybe I’m a geek, but I’m really excited.  When I meet him in person one day at Northpoint or at Buckhead, I’ll be sure to tell him that I watched him get ink on LA Ink.  Maybe I’ll have the opportunity to visit Atlanta sooner than later because we are opening an office in ATL by the end of the year, and that manager is in our office for the next month or two

Peace out.  Gotta watch and then get some sleep.

When it rains, it pours.  My family is suffering from an epidemic of strep throat.  My youngest nephew was stricken…he had a fever of between 104 and 105 for two or three days.  Cool baths, tylenol and motrin have him down to 99 today.  But…his mom and his sister are starting to show symptoms.  No sleep…worried mom…worried family…mom getting sick…makes for a fun family environment

I’m sitting here at work on a Saturday.  I love this part of my job.  Hopefully one day soon this will be the full time aspect of my job, putting the coffee-making, photocopy making, phone answering part on the back burner.

Well, I should get back to suture practice.  Or watching it, as the case may be.

Once again, we’ve got family issues.  My aunt left her abusive man….again.  She’s been with him for 25 years.  She’s left him a few times.  This time is different.  Again.  Only this time, I think it is.  She’s going to have counseling.  I hope it’s true.  It’s tiring to always have to worry about whether or not we’re going to get the phone call that he’s killed her. 

I don’t know how people can live in abusive situations.  I don’t know how people can abuse one another.  I don’t know how kids are produced in abusive situations. 

I hope that my aunt really makes the change.  I hope that she stays away from this dude.  I hope that she gets her life together and moves forward with her life. 

She’s moving back to PA so that she can be closer to her kids.  She says that she won’t go back to the house until she talks to the counselor.  She sounds different this time.  She’s not going back because of his daughter…she’s not being emotionally blackmailed this time.

Will it happen?  Only time will tell.  Please pray for her and her kids.  And for him.  (And for me, asking for prayer for him is like asking for prayer for Satan.)

Last night my sister rescued a baby squirrel.  Apparently it had fallen out of its nest onto our street.  She called animal rescue and got some apple-flavored pedialyte for the little guy (or gal.)  This morning we took the squirrel to an animal refuge in Medford, a town not too far from my house.  We had to be there right as they opened so that he could get proper care (and so she wouldn’t nag me to death.)

Something I love about my sister is her compassion.  She genuinely loves animals.  And plants.  And people she doesn’t know.  (Just kidding…she loves her family to death.)  I felt bad for the little orphan, but I would have taken it to the local animal shelter and would have been done.  She really went out of her way.

So, though I didn’t go to church, I learned a thing or two about stewardship of the animals that God has placed on earth.  And a lesson on compassion.  From a very unlikely source.

This year I enjoyed mother’s day.  No, I’m not a mother, but I enjoyed being in the presence of the women who are the matriarchs of my family.  We went to dinner on Saturday night and we spent the afternoon together yesterday.  I have to give glory to God, because He has healed wounds, deep wounds, within my heart pertaining to my grandmother.  I was able to walk into her house with an open heart, spend a great deal of time with her, and not walk away wounded.  It is true that scar tissue heals stronger than the original tissue. 

Did I mention that my church gave out awesome Mother’s Day gifts?  I love pineapple.  I love hand lotion.  I love pineapple hand lotion

I am thankful that I serve such a loving, wonderful God.  Right now, I am standing in the middle of an eddy, life swirling in every which direction, barely able, on my own to tell which way is up, and somehow I know that God is in control.  I don’t feel the need to grab the reins of my life.  I am not grasping for the proverbial straws.  I am standing.  Standing on a Rock.

I know that there is something brewing.  Right now I wish it were a pot of Starbucks coffee, ’cause I’m tired.  But I sense some kind of movement on the horizon.  And I hear a rumbling.  It will be interesting to see what occurs over the next month or so.

Well, I have to stop typing.  Pray that the HP lady actually helps me today or I may….I may sigh and call back tomorrow.

And for those who were worried.  My lost co-worker is rumored to be in the US.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll see for myself.

I crack myself up.