i was MADE for this

I’ve been very punchy lately.  Seriously so.  I can’t seem to find a comfort zone.  I can’t find that comfort in my own skin.  It’s not that I’m not content where I am.  But I’m not content where I am.

So today, as I was walking down Market Street, among the high rises, I asked God why I can’t seem to find peace, to be in a peaceful place.  “Deneen, you’ve forgotten your first love.” 

Ouch. 

I need to worship like David did…become undignified for the Lord.  I need to love like Jesus did, taking off my cloak and washing the feet of the people.  I need to be who God called me to be, not who God called others to be.  I need to be a fisher of men, not a pleaser of men.  In short, I need to return to my first love.

How did I, again, find myself in a place where my first love is sitting in a corner gathering dust?  The daily grind, the busy-ness of life, majoring in the minors.  

So, I humbly ask God to forgive me of forsaking my first love. 

And I thank God that He will not allow me to be comfortable, to be content when I am forsaking my first love.  If the day comes when I am comfortable being anywhere outside of where God wants me, I pray that He takes me home to be with Him.